the evening is winding down, desert already finished (ice cream, chocolate sauce). the dogs established their order and played themselves out some time ago. now they are asleep. kala, of course, snoring in a chair in the corner. a row of people on the floor, feet sticking out, a row of people on the couch … [Read more…]
it dawns on me that i haven’t done enough hiking in winter. surrounded by 100 ft tall cedar and listening to the wind in needles, clumps of snow falling to the ground, every once in awhile a branch cracks under the weight and i can imagine an avalanche nearby. kala is ahead w/ rudy, running … [Read more…]
I know that I’m irritable and angry, in part, because we’ve officially headed into the holidays. We hit Thanksgiving. I can feel it coming on like a bad cold: the tickle in the back of my throat the 2nd week of November, convincing myself I’m totally healthy I dive in wanting to bake for the … [Read more…]
I don’t remember a time I was ever this angry. I’m stomping, defiant, to work in the mornings. Vigilant at the dog park w/ Bean, waiting for any infraction, any sign of negligence, any excuse to start a war of words with another dog owner. I hear the neighbors in the garage by the washing … [Read more…]
I’m sorry I hung up on you Robin, I wanted to call back because I hate going to bed angry and upset, but it wasn’t going to do any good. I lost my cat this week, I’m exhausted from 2012 planning at work and emotionally drained. I put out an initial thought on how to … [Read more…]
i’m not over it yet – all those people that come and go. they take part, they love you, they share moments of my life and then they are gone along w/ the dorms, the cabins, the lakes, the flights, the classes… those people those places those faces they are gone. they inhabit my dreams … [Read more…]
a moment of peace, just one. maybe that is all i need in the morning to get my day moving. eyes shut, breath into my body exhale out the night before, breathe away the sleep to clear the way for the day not simply to happen, but to be experienced. consciously living the moments that … [Read more…]
you’d think that the urgency would grow greater as time moved on. however, in truth, the urgency dulls. and the passage of time becomes a lulling, rocking, ocean putting me to sleep. i lay on my back staring at the blue, blue sky. not a cloud in it but here and there a sea bird; … [Read more…]
and as soon as i sit down to type all the words fly out of my head. they need to fly out of my fingers dammit! i need to see everything within flow out – picture myself vomiting creativity – 40 years of bingeing and everything just waiting to come out. i’m becoming more and … [Read more…]
Silent, agreeable, pleasing, accommodating, humble, deferrent – abused children, dominated children she’s not alone. all her friends are here, her audience is here. everyone has come to see her performance. her cat looks at her from the bed, the bearskin rug on the floor, her one true critic and stuffed rabbit Structure: – long verse, … [Read more…]