Its as if we live in different worlds

And I suppose we do in a way. Isn’t class as much a separator as language, religion? Hasn’t poverty and wealth become that thing which divides us? I think the culture of poverty is what divides mom from everyone else in life. That combined with mental illness. Its hard to tell. Has she seen London? … [Read more…]

Character outlines

Max  *Beckah “Man!  You’re a bitch today.  What’re you pms-ing?” “Shut up you fucking chauvinist male and get me my chocolate!” Max sat on the couch, taking up more than her fair share of the cushion.  Her lower lip stuck out over the hardbound monster that was her favorite book.  In the two months she’d … [Read more…]

Poor continued

It has been at least a week since I have talked to my mother. It is only 4 days before Christmas. I have not sent her Christmas gifts, I forgot her birthday really. I called. Its not that I am not thinking of her if that I do not care. I care intensely. I am … [Read more…]

Happiest Memories

It’s the question the therapist asks you when teaching you to create a safe space for yourself. “Close your eyes and remember the happiest and most content moment.” The first place I go is to the back of a horse; she was a part clydesdale part quarter horse mix. Gorgeous, bay, huge brown eyes and … [Read more…]

Ending things

Trying to write more these days, you must notice. I just moved my blog from the dormant but we still store it category to the slightly-more-appealing-to-advertisers writes daily category. At least for these few days. I realize Blogger must be quite passe at this point. 1. kite – crepe paper wings 2. bird – feathered … [Read more…]

half way to midsummer

i was at my mom’s house in connecticut. extra toilet in the bathroom makes sense for girls that get ready together make-up and showering – doing girl stuff stairs were pulled out (silence) syd came to get me getting ready in my old high school bedroom finish up over at your place drove over to … [Read more…]

9/24/12 6 days

6 more days to 40. I’m on a countdown, the end of which I’m sure will be anti-climactic. nothing’s really going to happen at the other end of it. I’ll attend on helluva birthday party. That’s all. It’ll be fun – first party we’ve had in our house in years actually. music and all sorts … [Read more…]

The thing with 40

For me, 40 seems so final. Where it was acceptable, expected even at 20, to flirt, pick up sailors during fleet week, find that doe-eyed honey at a rave, slip the coffee-slinging-cutie your number and where it was a little more awkward but still in the rulebook (cougar) during my 30s. Now? It’s officially over. … [Read more…]

Poverty and my mother

it’s not so very bleak. for 40 i will dress like a grown up at a cocktail and dinner party in my own house. i will surround myself with my very favorite people. i will put a costume bin outside the door so people can “put on a persona” before coming into the house. morning … [Read more…]