1/16/99 had to arrange the formulation of a plan. we must be together for new years. to realize in one moment with rebecca sitting across from me that we’d never been in the same room together. to realize that in the book i’m working on, neither had our characters. rebecca, me, shalini and kyra. i … [Read more…]
1/3/99 wow. 1999. who’d a thought? it’s kind of surreal. everyone we ran into this weekend agreed. how bizarre is it that we’re living now, in this time? when we thought it was so far away? and no calamities, no doom impending, though we all have our various thoughts on new years for next year. … [Read more…]
12/22/98 oh the taking stock of our lives. oh the examining under intense scrutiny the minorest of details. like the time i slipped and fell at the christmas holiday party and fell in the ice bucket. and then i felt young and pathetic. like i was a drunk shame faced teenager who couldn’t handle the … [Read more…]
12/13/98 and if you’ve read this far god bless you. i suppose this is the absolutely wrong thing to do. but i don’t know any other way to try and explain to you how i felt while i was waiting for you to decide. and in the words of a wise woman, anasuya, who knows … [Read more…]
12/13/98 Well, after all my whining about men not being able to at least come and see me when they break up with me, now i have to eat my words. i don’t have a satisfying explanation to offer. i can’t say i don’t love you, because, i do. you’re the first one i hear … [Read more…]
12/13/98 and if you’ve read this far god bless you. i suppose this is the absolutely wrong thing to do. but i don’t know any other way to try and explain to you how i felt while i was waiting for you to decide. and in the words of a wise woman, anasuya, who knows … [Read more…]
9/10/98 am. well he showed up at my door as i was writing… 9/10/98 jonathan, you’re wonderful. and i honestly don’t know that i’ve ever met anyone, and grown to care for them, quite so quickly. i wish i had stopped myself, held my guard where i usually hold it. i’m all about the take … [Read more…]
9/9/98 well then. true love and lots of reveries come and gone. and there are reasons we don’t dream like we used to in high school. the stakes are higher. people think into the future. if you had only told me. i could’ve pulled the o’ so slick woman of your dreams the strong independent … [Read more…]
fire filling burning holding rage in my stomach already full of bile of the stench of wanting to destroy exploding longing to throw away the past out the window into the streets hope that glimmered evilly trying to blind myself with splendor idealistic bullshit maintaining beauty where there is not beauty to be found. lashing … [Read more…]
Dear Caitlin So here I sit on a dismal & dreary sunday afternoon in the woods. My parents and I came out to this small place on the lake, nestled in a corner with water and rocks all ’round. I run away to find my quiet spot, which I’ve found – and no one else … [Read more…]