I cannot tell the difference anymore between a healthy fascination and a dangerous obsession. I’m no longer qualified to evaluate my own feelings. When you turn toward me, leaning into my space, I take a breath to stay focused. When you move toward me for a hug goodbye, instead of me moving to hug you, … [Read more…]
The monkeys are restless in their cages the babies worry at the bars The women pray to their spirit gods (the music is silenced while i look away) Smoke of incense calls through the air I turn the corner above the golden keep the wolves hound the door below the dead stand their guard watching … [Read more…]
This anger creeps up to bite me every now and again. So much of the time I’m not concerned with it at all. Then someone or some thing confronts me, and before I realize they are forming, there are tears over the tops of my eyes and down. Out where everyone can see them. And … [Read more…]
Yeah. Health my ass. My body has betrayed me. My family has no history. No medical problems. And here I am taking no less than 5 supplements and 2 medications per day. My hormones have betrayed me. I can’t have children, and yet I have to regulate my pituitary hormones for the rest of my … [Read more…]
I expected to get gossipy, I expected to have a bit of a session, but really a session that was gossipy about someone else. Instead my friend turns to me and says “I’m really concerned about you. That place in my heart, that I see when I think of Caitlin, that place has “Concern” written … [Read more…]
Suya ~ Thank you for writing! On receiving this I was immediately reminded of our exchange of letters years ago. As I was purging before the move I found a stack of correspondence from you, which I’ve kept and stashed away after reminiscing a bit. I’ll cross my fingers on the Clomid for you! There’s … [Read more…]
After mutual vacations. He is still next to me. Standing right there. Responding when I turn toward him in the slightest. Turning toward me. He left me a duck made of Lego’s. He left me, specifically, a duck I had made of legos. At our mozilla all hands in Whistler. He’d gone and found it … [Read more…]
I woke this morning with the nagging feeling that I’d asked that question. Through one Moscow Mule and two glasses of sake I may have actually asked my late 30-something, 40-something friends why they have no children. What I properly meant to say, just in case I didn’t articulate more accurately at the time, was … [Read more…]
A budding young journal-ist Who did I think was reading along with me? Such writing talent and keen observations With only one real concern in life. I mean seriously, how many thoughts could my small head hold? (Or what was I avoiding) I did make some amateur art… So I suppose that’s something.
Surprised, really? Anticipated, your hands cover me, planned all along like a first drink Slowly, already inside me, 2 feet apart we lock, you enter without stepping closer Bound, freely I breathe your breath intoxicated, inhabited, tied with you