i was at my mom’s house in connecticut. extra toilet in the bathroom makes sense for girls that get ready together make-up and showering – doing girl stuff stairs were pulled out (silence) syd came to get me getting ready in my old high school bedroom finish up over at your place drove over to … [Read more…]
6 more days to 40. I’m on a countdown, the end of which I’m sure will be anti-climactic. nothing’s really going to happen at the other end of it. I’ll attend on helluva birthday party. That’s all. It’ll be fun – first party we’ve had in our house in years actually. music and all sorts … [Read more…]
For me, 40 seems so final. Where it was acceptable, expected even at 20, to flirt, pick up sailors during fleet week, find that doe-eyed honey at a rave, slip the coffee-slinging-cutie your number and where it was a little more awkward but still in the rulebook (cougar) during my 30s. Now? It’s officially over. … [Read more…]
it’s not so very bleak. for 40 i will dress like a grown up at a cocktail and dinner party in my own house. i will surround myself with my very favorite people. i will put a costume bin outside the door so people can “put on a persona” before coming into the house. morning … [Read more…]
she asks me how i feel about turning 40. immediately there are tears in my eyes and the tightness at the back of my throat. i look down into my burger at the gym. what are the sentences i can formulate around that? – my life is half over and i’ve done fuck-all – my … [Read more…]
walking among the tall snow covered trees – 100 ft tall cedar and doug fir (mouse tail pine cones), western hemlock, moss-covered, snow covered rain forest, roaring river, dogs here and there obeying commands (heel and stay, wait), footprints on the trail, stepping rock to rock to log to rock through the river, getting kala … [Read more…]
Chorus (melody 1): I couldn’t stop even though I’d hit the ground Can’t stop I’m diggin’ my way deeper down I don’t want anyone to see me now Verse (melody 2): Candy melts so slowly in my mouth Still I wanted to hold on a little longer Memories fade, feelings stay sharp Branded on my … [Read more…]
How do you take it lightlywhen i’ve come to you before
please just get me somewhere and land me safei’ve got so very much in here that’s got to come outit’s not about another man a new job a new beginningit’s in here – it’s in me. it’s up to me – no one else can get it for me… this heart is too big – … [Read more…]
Fiction for me, is my truth. Though one person’s truth is another’s… well, you’ll see. The names and events and places in this book, though they are true to me, exist to no one else. You may recognize yourself, but then again, isn’t that the point?For Daddy. Sit down, sit deeply into me and wait … [Read more…]