Suya ~
Thank you for writing! On receiving this I was immediately reminded of our exchange of letters years ago. As I was purging before the move I found a stack of correspondence from you, which I’ve kept and stashed away after reminiscing a bit.
I’ll cross my fingers on the Clomid for you! There’s so much to track and so many emotions involved in this process. Telling a woman to relax, yet track their cycle and take extra hormones and not anticipate pregnancy every month seems like a vain effort. Every luteal phase for me is angst ridden – are my boob sore? do i feel swollen? do i have to pee? And then little minor blows as each period arrives. Grrr. Relax my ass. 😉
I’m pretty focused now on getting my body into a steady rhythm. We’ve given up on any intervention, I think with 42 I’m no longer comfortable with the level of science required. It feels defeat-est in a way but easier than trying to convince my body to do something it really doesn’t want to do. I’m glad the Mood Cure worked out for you!!! As soon as I got on the 5HTP my cycle went from a short 23 days to 26 days, so that was nice. I still find the highs and lows, but overall so much more even. Now there’s fewer ghosts in my head and I can see what’s a real challenge I need to address and what’s my own psychology.It’s on the one hand shocking, and on the other not at all, to realize how closely tied my healthy cycle is to my emotional state. Not just the serotonin, but other hormones as well. My prolactin is high, which not only throws off my ovulation, but makes me feel manic. Easy enough to take drugs for, but I’m working to address this nutritionally instead. This pursuit of a healthy cycle is not just a pursuit for baby, but for a healthy emotional state. I have a whole new understanding of well being I didn’t have before embarking on this endeavor – so that’s a good thing.
So many women I know are facing these psychological challenges. I’ve not yet dug around to see what kind of research is out there – but this is most certainly a thing.
Trips home are always hectic and a bit taxing – even though it’s good to see everyone – it’s hard to be “on” all the time and constantly moving to meet up with people. We have one coming up in October. Starting out in Vermont to see cousins and Grams and making our way south to NYC with a few stops on the way (Brett’s school reunion, my mom, and some camping in favorite spots.) We’ve set aside a few days for romantic Vermont fall views. That I am certainly looking forward to.
I hope your travels are going well! Definitely be back in touch when you’re home. Would love to keep in touch a bit more regularly. I’m at the beginning of lots of transformation I think, personally and professionally, the next few years promise to be full of change and new directions. More on that next time!
Love you tons – think of you often!
Please say hi to Arj and my best regards to your family and of course Newley!!
Where does Ash stay when you’re away?
Where does Ash stay when you’re away?
ox
caito