i had to go into the bathroom today at work to find you
i’d been sitting alone in the conference room
no one was at the desks outside
the <3 you put in irc lingers in front of my eyes
i see it
that tiny little heart
and my own, more real, beats harder and faster
and that tiny little heart taunts me in the chat window
i know you don't love me
i know i baited the heart by telling you i missed you
and you're just sweet and loving and too much of a guy to know
that i will sit here for an hour staring at that tiny heart
next to your nick in your reply
my own beats ever so slightly faster with each minute
my breath shallower and heightened
my chest constricts as i imagine your hands on my throat
your lips near to mine your breath in my mouth
i relive that first kiss over and over again
your hands
i speak the words out loud
and realize suddenly once again the conference room, the glass, the empty workstations
anyone could have heard me
i pack my things and go
i have to go into the bathroom to find you
in the far stall
in a moment of privacy, visual anonymity
i lose my coat and my bag
and am pushed against the wall, one hand again at my throat
the other reaches under my skirt, i feel one finger, then two
your groan, the way you breathe my name into my ear whenever you find me this wet
you kiss me, bring your fingers to your mouth, then mine
"you taste that? oooh.." you sigh "you taste like you"
everything slows
all i know is your breath
all i know is my lips on your neck
your lips on mine
your tongue, i need your tongue
the bathroom door opens.
i step away, my arms empty, alone in the stall.
i know i have to stop imagining you, at this point we have spent more hours together in my mind than i ever spent with you for real.
but for now i am still addicted.
and i have to go into the bathroom at work to find you.