For Daddy

For Daddy.
Sit down, sit deeply
into me and wait
for I have only begun
the fight as it needs to be.
I have been waiting
confrontation in finality
fantasies can no longer exist
this has now become reality
the only thing which cannot
be changed.
My god, my demon
I have fought you
for so long
and have never given
you your due
respect?  it is not that which
I owe you.
But seeing you now
old not wise
weak and tired
of this battle,
the life taken from you
I breathed in unknowing.
The fight is alone
the creative force
of me.
I cannot use against you
the only gift you gave;
defining me in life this battle
which is killing you.
You have followed me
in and out of years
never leaving
breathing on my spine
distorting motions which
could have been so clear.
I have smelled
and dreamt of you,
longed for sight clear enough
to love, but forgiveness has been
pushed just out of reach.
The fight you created
created me, and so I stand
in thanks, seething.
I see you now and realize
the impossibility of hate.
The fight is over
I have won.
In victory I cannot kill
or leave behind.
You are beaten and
you follow me still.